A few days ago, I tuned into Hay House Radio on my way home from work (which is my normal routine) and was pleased to hear Anita Moorjani being interviewed by Diane Ray. Anita authored the book “Dying To Be Me”, in which she tells the story of her near death experience while in a coma caused by terminal cancer and how she has used what she learned during her NDE to heal her life. Her story is truly inspiring and I encourage you to look her up! I’ve heard Anita speak a few times and, although I’m sure she has said this during every talk, on this particular day the message that kept jumping out at me was “Be who you are!” In a synchronistic twist that emphasized the point, the license plate on the car in front of me while listening to this interview was BHUYUR. Message received, Universe!
Excited by my epiphany, when I got home I told my husband about the profound piece of advice that I wanted to share with everyone: “Be who you are.” His response: “What if someone doesn’t like who they are?” Now, he wasn’t necessarily talking about himself, he just loves to play the role of the skeptic and I appreciate that. Sometimes I understand things at my core and assume that everyone else will just “get it” in the same way… but his questions challenge me to explain my understanding and I love that!
So, here’s my reply: If you don’t like you are, that’s not really who You are. I know that’s a paradoxical thought but, let me explain further… your True Self is connected to Source, Divine Love; You are so much bigger and more expansive than your physical body. When you are in line with your True Self, who You really are, you feel good! So, when you don’t feel good about yourself that means you are thinking and doing things that are not in line with who You actually are and therefore “be who You are” is the perfect advice for getting back to feeling good.
Now, if you followed that line of reasoning, you may be saying, “Okay, so how do I do that? How do I ‘be who I am’?” I’m so glad you asked! 😉 Here are a few suggestions:
1) Meditation – Find a comfortable, quiet space to sit and be still and focus on your breath, even for just a few minutes. Follow your breath in through your nose, watch it with your mind’s eye as it fills your belly, pause, and watch it flow back out through your nose. Thoughts will come up and that’s fine, acknowledge them but let them go, don’t be tempted to follow your thoughts down the rabbit hole. A wonderful trick I recently learned is to say a mantra (silently) whenever a thought comes up to help bring you back to center. My favorite lately is “Aham Brahmasmi” which means “I am the Universe.” Feel free to use that or anything else that brings you back to a state of calm, such as thinking “I am Love” or “I am Peace” or simply chanting “Om/Aum” (“ahhh…ohhh…mmm”) whenever you notice a thought. Meditation helps return us to our natural state of Love and Peace, which is a wonderful place to operate from throughout the day, as opposed to making decisions from a state of stress or fear.
2) Become aware of your thoughts – Make a conscious effort to be aware of your thoughts throughout the day and how they make you feel. If a thought makes you feel bad, it is not in alignment with who You actually are so, take a moment to examine it… what is it about that thought that caused a negative emotion? What is the opposite of that thought? Does flipping it around and focusing on the opposite make you feel better? Is there any action you can take that brings you closer to that good feeling? Is there any thought you can think that gets you closer to believing the good-feeling thought that’s the opposite of the bad-feeling thought you have ingrained in your subconscious through (probably years of) repetition? Don’t beat yourself up over this process either, it’s nearly impossible to just grab onto the opposite thought and expect that to be your new belief about yourself (you need to think a thought a LOT for it to become a belief) so just do your best to reach for the next-best-feeling thought to move up the emotional scale from negative (low vibrational) thoughts to positive (high vibrational) thoughts. You can also turn that ideal thought into a personal mantra that you take with you into meditation; repeating that positive thought while in an open, relaxed state will help you reprogram your subconscious with the thoughts that you actually want there.
3) Listen to your intuition – This is similar to #2 but focusing more on action. Pay attention to how you feel in your body in any given situation. “If it feels good, do it.” & “Follow your bliss.” may conjure images of tie-dye and free love but, it’s actually really good advice. (Caveat: as long as “following your bliss” does not directly harm another; if it causes harm, it is not divinely inspired action.) So, if the idea of taking a dance class or learning to make pottery or visiting a foreign country really lights you up, shake off all the thoughts of “I can’t because…” and “what will they think of me if…” and take steps toward your dreams! And the opposite is also true: if it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it! If someone asks you to do something and you get a queasy feeling in your stomach, or some other not-so-good feeling somewhere in your body, find a polite way to say “No” because that’s your intuition telling you it’s not a good idea, it’s not in line with who You are.
4) What other people think of you is none of your business – I know this is a tough one, I struggle with this myself. But, quite often the reason we have gotten so far away from who we really are is because we’re doing things according to what we think other people in our lives want us to be and do. And the ironic thing is, we’re acting from what we think they want which isn’t necessarily what they actually want. There’s no way to know what someone else is really thinking at any given moment, we can only make assumptions of their thoughts and those assumptions are processed through our own perceptions. In reality, everyone wants everyone else to be true to themselves, whether we all realize that or not. Think about it, would you rather be around someone who is miserable or someone who is genuinely happy? The happy person, right? Right. (If you said “the miserable person”, you’ve got some work to do: stop, drop and meditate.) The happy person is someone who is taking action that is in line with their True Self. They are not “being selfish”, they are being self-nurturing and, in turn, their positive vibes help raise the vibration of any room they enter, positively affecting those they interact with throughout the day, creating a ripple effect of good vibes. Doesn’t that sound like something everyone wants?
Of course, there are more than just 4 ways to get in touch with your True Self and be who You are but, I think this is a good start and you will discover other methods once you really get into it. And I hope you will! I believe the advice to “be who You are” is the key to true happiness. That doesn’t mean it’s easy, I have a feeling this will be a life-long process but, I imagine it will get easier with practice. I’m willing to put the work in. Are you?
P.S. – If you’ve already begun your journey of self-realization, I invite you to share your favorite methods in the comments below. Namaste.